{ "export": { "source": "https://urth.darkrealm.vip/thread/urth/5485", "note": "Exported from an unofficial mirror of a public mailing list. Copyright in each message remains with the person who wrote it. Email addresses are obscured as `user at host`, the form the original archive published. This file was rebuilt from parsed fields rather than retained headers, so it is faithful in content but not byte-exact.", "addresses": "obscured as 'user at host'" }, "archive": "urth", "thread": { "id": 5485, "subject": "off-topic, a propos of nothing", "messages": 5, "voices": 4, "first": "2009-09-10T21:39:38+00:00", "last": "2009-09-21T05:59:20+00:00" }, "messages": [ { "message_id": "", "from": { "name": "Robin Dunn", "address": "bigbadgerjohnny at gmail.com" }, "date": "2009-09-10T21:39:38+00:00", "subject": "(urth) off-topic, a propos of nothing", "in_reply_to": null, "reply_link": null, "blocks": [ { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "10 ways to Sabotage America\n\nby Robin Dunn\n\nEdward Bellamy's turn of the last century warning \"Looking Forward,\nLooking backward\" may today look like a quaint Gilded\n\nAge document describing the inequities of a capitalist system as it\nexisted around 1900. He used the metaphor of the\n\ncarriage, on top of which sits capital, and around which run a mob of\nworkers. Occasionally a worker gets pulled up on top\n\nof the carriage to ride with the other capitalists, and occasionally\none of the capitalists gets dragged off and has to\n\nbecome a worker.\n\nWell the carriage has turned into a Chevy Volt, but it's still much\nthe same dynamic! Large economic systems cooperate to\n\nkeep the bottom line rolling in, for the benefit of a select few, all\nin the name of greater competition! It's a beautiful\n\nsystem! Who can argue with it? If you do, you're a socialist, or\neven worse, a dirty pinko egghead liberal, even a\n\ncommie! We still have those somewhere, I hear, growing beards and\ntalking about Marx. (They're said to live in ivory\n\ntowers somewhere near you).\n\nNow for those of you, like me, that would prefer to sit back and watch\nthe world collapse on Youtube and laugh at Bernanke\n\nand Obama and Gingrich and Cheney's (why is he still drawing breath?)\nhijinks, I have one word of warning: bring a lot of\n\nCorona. Or Negro Modelo.\n\nFor those of you that are now terrified and mortified enough to get\noff your asses and fight (unlike me), and have exhausted\n\nthe usual avenues to ease your consciences such as volunteering at\nhomeless shelters and being nice to panhandlers, as well\n\nas even bringing food to your less fortunate neighbors (in places\nwhere that still happens in America), I have another\n\nsolution: sabotage.\n\nYes, the good old sabots, wooden shoes workers tossed into the\nindustrial machinery to fuck it up, can now win you millions\n\nof dollars on our reality show 'Sticking it to the Man' (as soon as I\nget that TV funding). But while we wait for the\n\ncameras to start rolling, I encourage your daily efforts to practice\nfor the stage as it were, so that you too can win a\n\nmillion dollar prize. (Who wants to do anything now where at least\nthe faint possibility of a million dollar prize is\n\ninvoked? No one except idiots, that's who.) So, you MAY win a\nMILLION dollars for following these simple steps:\n\n1) If you work at on office, steal all the pens. Also, steal all the\nstickie pads. Get the erasers, eyeglasses lens\n\ncleaner, toner, paper, paperclips, big metal clips, and telephones\nwhile you're at it. Don't discuss it with your\n\nneighbors. Just take the things home. You need them more than the Man does.\n\n2) Spontaneously burst into song at inappropriate moments. This works\nbest if there's some popular song going around, and\n\nthe office staff takes turns singing snatches of it, so that no one\nperson can be blamed as the instigator of the song.\n\nSongs were good for the slaves in the fields of Mississippi, after\nall. They survived, some of them.\n\n3) If you don't already, begin hating your boss. He or she may be a\nnice guy or gal, but remember, they are your enemy.\n\nThey are the one who can doom you to poverty and homelessness. They\nare the one who can take away your children and put you\n\nin the nuthouse. They want to do it, too. The solution is to hate\nthem honestly, and with no regrets. Of course you must\n\nsmile and nod for them, even in public. But secretly you must hoard\nresentment and moral fervor, so that when the time\n\ncomes, you can all destroy them together. (More about that later).\n\n4) If you work at a call center where your performance is measured by\nhow much money you suck out of AARP Medicare\n\nrecipients over the phone, organize \"strike\" days, where everyone\ndeliberately pisses off the elderly in the nicest of\n\ntones, so that the managers don't immediately catch on. This is\ndangerous as it can lead you to being fired. But you were\n\ngoing to be fired anyway. It's better to go out with your buddies, with a bang.\n\n5) Buy no weapons. Too much suspicion and opportunities for random\nviolence. Time for that later. In the meantime, just\n\nconcentrate on grinding the machine that is killing you to a halt.\n\n6) Change your name. Encourage your neighbor to change their names.\nThen, get a lot of credit cards in your new name. Run\n\nthem up. Then, change your name again. It worked for Michael Jackson.\n\n7) If you are a public works employee, cut off the water supply, or\nsewage supply, to a neighborhood. This will get things\n\nnoticed quick, so be sure to really fuck up the pipes down there\nbefore you quit for the day. You'll be fired and they'll\n\nbring in scabs to do the work again. However, you will have achieved\na moral victory.\n\n8) Notice the bankers in your neighborhood. Notice your bank\nmanagers. Notice your bank executives. Track their\n\nmovements. Are they buying more cars? Do they have a \"permanent\nvacation\" scheduled soon for the Maldives, or the\n\nCanaries, or Madagascar? Keep track of them, you will need that\ninformation later.\n\n9) Organize neighborhood marching groups. Carry no weapons. Call\nthem \"minutemen for peace.\" March around a lot and shout\n\nthings. The things you shout don't need to make sense. Remember:\nshort ideas repeated massage the brain. It works for\n\nthe TV boys and girls. They've been doing it for 60 years.\n\n10) Which brings us to my most important piece of advice. Burn all\nyour televisions now. Burn them.\n\nFor those of you out there willing to undertake even some of this\nadvice, I salute you! I am still too cowardly to carry\n\nthem out. But if you come over and we have a couple beers, I'll bet\nwe could talk each other into it. See you on the other\n\nside!" } ] }, { "message_id": "<4AAE183F.6030004@io.com>", "from": { "name": "Jeff Wilson", "address": "jwilson at io.com" }, "date": "2009-09-14T10:17:35+00:00", "subject": "(urth) off-topic, a propos of nothing", "in_reply_to": "", "reply_link": "header", "blocks": [ { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "Robin Dunn wrote:\nBut if you come over and we have a couple beers, I'll bet\nwe could talk each other into it." }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "I think decaf might be a better place to start. :)" }, { "kind": "sig", "depth": 0, "text": "Jeff Wilson - jwilson at io.com\n< http://www.io.com/~jwilson >" } ] }, { "message_id": "<3916DACA-9430-42B2-88A2-4E4C7F46BE46@goosemoon.org>", "from": { "name": "Allan Anderson", "address": "rubel at goosemoon.org" }, "date": "2009-09-14T15:31:33+00:00", "subject": "(urth) off-topic, a propos of nothing", "in_reply_to": "<4AAE183F.6030004@io.com>", "reply_link": "header", "blocks": [ { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "Good fun, nonetheless :)" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "On Sep 14, 2009, at 3:17 AM, Jeff Wilson wrote:\nRobin Dunn wrote:" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 2, "text": "But if you come over and we have a couple beers, I'll bet\nwe could talk each other into it." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "I think decaf might be a better place to start. :)\n\n-- \nJeff Wilson - jwilson at io.com\n< http://www.io.com/~jwilson >\n_______________________________________________" } ] }, { "message_id": "<81c420fa0909141522n1546ae8aif7cf5f5d4f2871e4@mail.gmail.com>", "from": { "name": "Greg Bates", "address": "tedkennedyrolls at gmail.com" }, "date": "2009-09-14T22:22:46+00:00", "subject": "(urth) off-topic, a propos of nothing", "in_reply_to": "<3916DACA-9430-42B2-88A2-4E4C7F46BE46@goosemoon.org>", "reply_link": "header", "blocks": [ { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "I can't seem to read this article at all it appears to be\nformatted very poorly and perhaps you should have\n\nspell-checked it or run it through Notepad or something\nto make it plain text before you e-mailed it to us, but I\n\nthink you were too excited about your banal revolutionary\nfantasies to consider spending a few moments making\n\nyour manifesto readable." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "On Mon, Sep 14, 2009 at 11:31 AM, Allan Anderson wrote:\nGood fun, nonetheless :)\n\n\nOn Sep 14, 2009, at 3:17 AM, Jeff Wilson wrote:\n\nRobin Dunn wrote:" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 3, "text": "But if you come over and we have a couple beers, I'll bet\nwe could talk each other into it." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 2, "text": "I think decaf might be a better place to start. :)\n\n--\nJeff Wilson - jwilson at io.com\n< http://www.io.com/~jwilson >\n_______________________________________________" } ] }, { "message_id": "<4AB71638.60605@io.com>", "from": { "name": "Jeff Wilson", "address": "jwilson at io.com" }, "date": "2009-09-21T05:59:20+00:00", "subject": "(urth) off-topic, a propos of nothing", "in_reply_to": "<81c420fa0909141522n1546ae8aif7cf5f5d4f2871e4@mail.gmail.com>", "reply_link": "header", "blocks": [ { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "Greg Bates wrote:\nI can't seem to read this article at all it appears to be\nformatted very poorly and perhaps you should have\n \nspell-checked it or run it through Notepad or something\nto make it plain text before you e-mailed it to us, but I\n \nthink you were too excited about your banal revolutionary\nfantasies to consider spending a few moments making\n \nyour manifesto readable." }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "Making it too readable would detract from the ironic comment on \nmanifestoi as a genre." }, { "kind": "sig", "depth": 0, "text": "Jeff Wilson - jwilson at io.com\nIEEE Student Chapter Blog at\n< http://ieeetamut.org >" } ] } ] }