{ "export": { "source": "https://urth.darkrealm.vip/thread/urth/6732", "note": "Exported from an unofficial mirror of a public mailing list. Copyright in each message remains with the person who wrote it. Email addresses are obscured as `user at host`, the form the original archive published. This file was rebuilt from parsed fields rather than retained headers, so it is faithful in content but not byte-exact.", "addresses": "obscured as 'user at host'" }, "archive": "urth", "thread": { "id": 6732, "subject": "Short Story 218*: Planetarium in Orbit", "messages": 1, "voices": 1, "first": "2015-04-22T16:34:21+00:00", "last": "2015-04-22T16:34:21+00:00" }, "messages": [ { "message_id": "", "from": { "name": "Marc Aramini", "address": "marcaramini at gmail.com" }, "date": "2015-04-22T16:34:21+00:00", "subject": "(urth) Short Story 218*: Planetarium in Orbit", "in_reply_to": null, "reply_link": null, "blocks": [ { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "#Planetarium in Orbit\n\n\"Planetarium in Orbit\" first appeared as part of the Chicago Worldcon Bid\nfor 2012 pulp fiction series in an August 2009 pamphlet, with the title\n*Constipating Science Fiction* on the cover.\n\n##Summary\n\nThe villainous Doctor Death Vice, Ph.D. in mad science, narrates this pulpy\nparody. He proclaims that he is the master of the Lakemich Monster and the\nman who stole Mars." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "The police have never brought me to justice and they never will. My\nscientific knowledge stands at eight-hundred ninety five, highest in the\nknown universe. My cruelty at nine hundred and ten. That puts me third,\nbut that is clearly an error; a better reckoning would advance me two\ngrades. When I have Elaine Ecdysiast in my grasp ..." }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "His plot involves the precept that the essential essence of every planet is\nstored in the planetarium in the lake. Having the essence of Earth in his\nhands from the planetarium would, according to his scheme, make Dr. D. Vice\nthe Master of the World. With his twenty subordinates, he drives to the\nplanetarium and positions their stolen cars to block access to the\nplanetarium, also starting fires to prevent access.\n\nWhen he enters the building, \"a burst of fire from our submachine guns\nbrought new galaxies into existence and silenced the otherwise disordered\naudience.\"\n\nHe introduces himself and proclaims that it is mad science which humankind\nrequires, indicating that his black and scarlet-lined cloak was donned as a\nlaureate of that field.\n\nA youthful blond asks if she can feel the fabric, and Dr. Vice states, \"I\nrecognized her at once. It was whatshername, Brick Somethingorother's\ngirlfriend.\"\n\nHe explains his plot, indicating that this model of the solar system has a\nsun far too small and planets far too close, amongst other errors.\n\nBrick shows up saying, \"I betcha forget her name, Doc. My dear is whatcha\nalways calls her when ya can't think of her real name. ... Her real name's\n... uh ... Elaine. Only I can't never remember the last one.\" She declares\nit is Ecdysiast, further commenting that it is Greek.\n\nThe Doctor responds, \"I know her name as well as I know yours, Brick\nSomethingorother.\"\n\nElaine declares that she and Brick represent Balance: \"The universe tends\ntoward balance in all things; if it didn't it would've flown to pieces long\nago. Snow White's pretty, so the dwarfs are funny. All that stuff.\" She\nclaims that the universe kicks in by providing Brick and herself to foil\nhis scheme.\n\nThe Doctor declares that probes have been sent to correct the model in the\nplanetarium as far as Kleptos (punning on thievery), recording the\nessential essence of the sun and its planets \"plus that of Luna, Deimos,\nPhobos, [the moons of Mars] and all the other pieces of rock with lovely\nnames. The spheres you see are these recordings. Possessing the essential\nnature of the planets themselves.\"\n\nElaine says that in \"the higher Platonian universe ... this really is the\nsolar system. Isn't that cool?\"\n\nThe doctor states that he will pluck Earth from its orbit. He hesitates,\n\"for two point four seconds only ... Two point four five, perhaps, but not\nmore than that. ... a slight confusion had overtaken me. Red or blue? Blue\nor red?\"\n\nHe asks Elaine which is which, and she replies, \"I'm happy to help ...\nEarth is the blue one, Doctor D. ... The sun is in the middle and we're\nthree doors down. ... Here's Mercury, number one. This is Venus - I just\nlove her! - number two. And the third one is us, Earth. Terra was her\nmaiden name, but she's Earth now.\"\n\nDr. D declares it a clumsy deception, grabbing the red planet. Elaine gasps\nand goes pale, saying \"I failed to take your diabolical cunning into\naccount, Doctor. It's hanging out with Brick so much. I get to thinking\nall you men are, well, you understand.\"\n\n\"He's not near as strong as me,\" Brick declares imploring the Doctor to put\nit back as he \"levels a finger somewhat thinner than his skull\" at his\nnemesis.\n\nThe lights go out, for the fires the Doctor set outside to block entrance\nto the planetarium have burned through \"Commonwealth Edison's high-tension\nlines.\"\n\nIn the dark, Brick takes out the Doctor's henchmen as Elaine narrates,\nnoting most of them as \"cute\" and identifying them by the weapons they held.\n\nHaving mastered ventriloquism, the Doctor casts his voice a different\ndirection to distract Brick and makes his escape, boarding his speedboats.\nHe gloats that he has stolen Mars:" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "Oh, yes, I realized it was Mars as soon as I searched it thoroughly\nwithout finding either Paris or Chicago. The canals were another\ngiveaway. Mars ... Elaine had known no better than I!" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "And yet Mars offers certain advantages. He is the god of war, and in\nconjunction with Saturn... In the end I was not displeased." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "But that was at the end. I was indeed displeased when I saw Brick and\nElaine commandeer the last of my boats. I could still blast the planetarium\ninto orbit, as I did forthwith, but those two had escaped it." }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "Doctor Death is a bit disappointed at how poorly the planetarium holds\ntogether, but \"Even so, the fine powdering of human beings that surrounded\nthe wreckage- many in bright sumer attire, and others dyed in pleasing\nshades by their own blood - made a stirring sight.\"\n\nElaine and Brick give chase on the lake, and the Doctor summons the\nLakemich Monster." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "It rose, water cascading from its huge head as it does when at last a fat\nwoman quits her bath. Stinking mud and great streamers of water weeds\nclung to its head and neck; but as they fell away its iridescent scales\nshone in the afternoon sunlight, each as large as many a satellite dish:" }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "cerise and aureate and heliotrope; damask, are, and sapphire, scales that\nformed a pattern more complex and more lovely than that upon the back of\nany serpent." }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "Its cavernous mouth gapped wide, displaying discolored fangs as long as\nthe legs of any center the Bulls have ever boasted. My breast swelled with\npride as I watched its jaws close upon Brick Somethingorother. Never again," }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "I told myself. Never would I be troubled by him again!" }, { "kind": "quote", "depth": 1, "text": "Alas, it spit him out." }, { "kind": "text", "depth": 0, "text": "##Commentary\n\nA very slight work, it was commissioned as part of a series for the Chicago\nWorldcon Bid for 2012, with all of the contributors using the themes of\n\"pulp\" SF and Fantasy. Ten \"bidzines\" were produced featuring\nChicago-related authors. All of the stories shared a few features: the\ndeceptively intelligent and talkative heroine was named Elaine Ecdysiast\n(whose last name implies a pole dancer or stripper), the villain was Dr. D.\nVice (though his first name changed in every tale), and the hero had the\ninitials B.S. (hmmm). The short vignettes also featured some cameo or fact\nof Chicago landscape or tradition, such as Wriggly Field or the Chicago Art\nMuseum. Bogus titles for the magazines besides *Constipating Science\nFiction* included *Contemptuous Science Fiction* (with a story by William\nShunn) or *Confounding SF* (with a story by Steven H Silver). Other\nauthors included Frederik Pohl, Matthew Stover, Mike Resnick, and Phyllis\nEisenstein. Several of the other stories are available online at\nhttp://www.chicon.org/bid/pulps-online.html. Chicago was in fact successful\nin its bid to have the 70th World Science Fiction Convention, called Chicon\n7.\n\nThe themes at work are fairly obvious, as the exploration of pulp as\nbrainless adventure is slightly emphasized: a hair-brained scheme, a Ph.D.\nwith the highest scientific knowledge in the world who thinks Earth is the\nfourth planet from the Sun, and a heroine who waxes lyrical about balance\n(the specialty of the pole dancer, after all) all contribute to the pulpy\nfeel. The Lake Michigan Monster is a \"real\" story of the unexplained of a\nsnake like creature which lives in Lake Michigan, comparable to the hype\nsurrounding the Loch Ness Monster (though of course with a lesser\nreputation.) The planetarium in question is no doubt the Adler Planetarium\nfounded in 1930 located on the northeast tip of Northerly Island on Lake\nMichigan. It has been declared a National Historic Landmark.\n\nThe only indication that Wolfe is definitely the author, besides naming his\nnarrator-antagonist Doctor Death, involves the Platonic nature of\nrepresentation and ideality explained by Elaine Ecdysiast: the planets\nsomehow contain the essence of the things that they represent. This has\nbeen explored in Wolfe's fiction even as early as \"The House of Ancestors\"\n- the essence and even function of something is symbolically contained in a\nphysical representation of it. Of course there is also the irony of Elaine,\nwith her suggestive last name, mentioning platonic ideals ....The tendency\nto make all of the characters ironically ignorant is also probably a clue\nto Wolfe's identity as author.\n\nWhen Dr. Death talks about Mars in conjunction with Saturn, in astrology\nthis refers to a great determination to overcome all obstacles and\ntenaciously persevere. Saturn can represent boundaries, organization, and\nwork ethic, while Mars is associated with soldiering, fighting, and\nactivity (but can also be associated with constructive forces). The\nconjunction of Mars and Saturn is commonly ascribed to Engineers and\npeople with technological savvy (and of course, the symbol of the God Mars\nis the wolf).\n\n##Unanswered questions\n\nDoes Elaine actually try to mislead the Doctor, as he believes? She does\ngo pale when he plucks out the representation of Mars, commenting that he\nis even more diabolical than she planned, but all of her other explanations\nfor the location of the Earth are of course sound.\n\n##Connection with other works\n\nThis is the light hearted Wolfe of parody, relying on puns and irony. This\npiece is closest to short works such as \"A Visit from His Confidant\" and\n\"The Lithosphere Whale\". While he has named his Dr. D. Vice character\nDoctor Death, all of the characters in the Pulp series used had to use the\nD. initial for the first name of the villainous doctor.\n\n##Resources\n\n-\"The Pulps - Online Issues.\" Chicago 2012 Worldcon Bid. March 2010. Web.\n20 April 2015. http://www.chicon.org/bid/pulps-online.html" } ] } ] }