An Evil Guest: gold hunting

Gwern Branwen · 05 Jan 2010, 02:20 · from 2010-January.txt.gz
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From: gwern0 at gmail.com (Gwern Branwen)
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 2010 21:20:46 -0500
Subject: (urth) An Evil Guest: gold hunting
Message-ID: <cbf55b101001041820j44cef130gf7a68be1e80f0932 at mail.gmail.com>

Another thing that bothers me about AEG is the initial premise. Why
does the USG want to hunt down Reis? Gold, it's insinuated, is the
reason.

Why is creating gold a problem? I suspect we are meant to simply
assume it's counterfeiting and bad, no more questions needed.

But the federal government has many reasons to be glad about a cheap
method of producing gold!

- it massively blunts the danger of people switching to a gold-backed currency
- induces a kind of 'gold inflation', with similar stimulant effects
as people are forced to use their gold or lose value
- helps out industry (gold has scads of uses)
- is a major physics advance, and likely implies being able to create
arbitrary other radioisotopes (great for weapons, and medicine in
general)
- properly controlled, is a major weapon against any country or entity
holding large reserves of gold
and so on.

In fact, I'm having a hard time thinking why the government would
dislike it at all.

- because Reis can make gold, you dummy

And the President can print as much money as he wants. You can spend
greenbacks at your local Baskin-Robbins too.

- then maybe the President wants a personal fortune

Ex-presidents name their salaries and speaking fees. The Clintons left
the White House like $10 million in debt; but they cleared that up
awfully quick, and are now shall we say, well-to-do. (Of course, other
presidents already had fortunes upon election.)

- they are being good doobies and protecting the world from radioactive gold!

Makes no sense. Reis or Chase (I forget which) says that the level is
so low it would have taken months to kill Cassie, and exposures of
minutes to the bracelet - pounds of radioactive gold - isn't a big
deal. Even if the radiation level were extremely high, so what? When
was the last time you handed over a groaning suitcase with thousands
of Benjamins in it when you wanted to buy a car or house?

The reserve banks, among other institutions, hold hundreds and
thousands of tons of nonradioactive gold. Synthesize an equivalent
amount of radioactive gold, and swap it all. Now you have hundreds and
thousands of tons of perfectly good gold. Or you could smelt it all
together, cutting the radiation level of each pound in half; alloy it
for 20 karat gold and the level goes down another 16% or whatever.

And so on.

------

So what's the *real* reason for hunting Reis and his gold?

Here's another question: why do they consider Reis so very very evil?
The worst thing we've heard of him doing or seen him done is the
battles between the mercenaries and the Squid cultists for the
islands. It would be a tad hypocritical for an American president and
his Rove to be all 'most EEEVVILLL man in the world!' And why do they
not say who the other 2 evil men are, apparently because of Gideon
Chase's presence?

Another point: Reis says Cthulhu fears *his* mercenaries'
depth-bombing - not any government's depth-bombing. If you were an
extremely wealthy, well-connected American businessman fighting an
extraterrestrial menace, and your best weapon is sophisticated naval
explosives, isn't it the most natural thing in the world to use the
United States Navy as your *first* resort? Especially if you're High
King and can sign any treaty you wish. Why does Reis need to resort to
rather intricate shenanigans to get the USN to depth-bomb Cthulhu
without realizing whom it is fighting? (Presumably once the charges
starting rolling and the storm called, the engagement will sustain
itself.)

Why, for that matter, is the USN out in that kind of strength? You
don't send carrier groups or even a cruiser or destroyer out on
lengthy wild-goose chases - and Reis implies the search flights have
been going on for a long time. Reconnaissance helicopters or
submersibles don't carry many depth-charges, last I heard, nor would
they have authorization to use them.

Another point: keep in mind that even if they found Reis's postulated
master-stash, they can't expect more than millions or low billions
from it, else they would've found it long ago from leakage if nothing
else. So why do they keep looking? Military operations are
*expensive*. And it's not like the federal government needs to grab
all the gold it can find: it has a multi-trillion dollar budget. If
you want a spare billion or 3, just take it from the black budget.

---

What are we to make of all these odd points - the pointless
persecution of Reis, the peculiarly persistent search of the islands
in massive military strength, and the rest?

Here's my take. The USN is there in force because someone in command
*expected* to find Cthulhu or something comparable. That's why they
could depth-charge at all, and so quickly.

They expected to find Cthulhu by finding Reis's gold not because they
thought Cthulhu was manufacturing it - they knew Reis was
manufacturing it - but they thought Reis was storing it there. And
they thought Reis could store it there because he had an arrangement
with Cthulhu: he was a cultist.

Not just any cultist either. Besides his socioeconomic status, he was
also the high king of the islands directly ruled by Cthulhu. Pretty
reasonable to characterize him as one of Cthulhu's most powerful,
honored, and thus presumably loyal, servitors.

Given all that, the President's characterization is not hyperbole, nor
is the focus on gold inexplicable - it's the spoor that they will hunt
back. Even the reticence to name the other 2 evil men becomes clearer:
Chase has worked for Reis, advocates suspiciously Cthulhu-amenable
ethics, is in a Squiddy-favored position in academia (remember the
boasts of their power extending through world governments and
institutions), and is eldritch in general (even omitting possible
contamination at Miskatonic). Perhaps Chase is #2 on the list! Using
him against Reis would be delicious irony, and explains the government
reaction to Chase's refusal/escape.

Further, Reis playing a dangerous game in Cthulhu's sphere of
influence - appearing but not really being his - explains how Reis
could be trapped at the end. If the true loyalties of all the
islanders & warriors came as a surprise, that would be one heck of a
screwup by Reis! (The original invasion now becomes infighting among
Cthulhu cultists for status.)

But who is #3? That's still a mystery to me. It could be King Kanoa.
He is immediately subordinate to King Reis, and would make a natural
third.

-- 
gwern
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