HBD GW!

brunians at brunians.org · 07 May 2010, 05:39 · from 2010-May.txt.gz

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From: brunians at brunians.org (brunians at brunians.org)
Date: Fri, 7 May 2010 01:39:51 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: (urth) HBD GW!
In-Reply-To: <373747.72937.qm at web50703.mail.re2.yahoo.com>
References: <727682.1281.qm at web81404.mail.mud.yahoo.com>
	<h2p1f7617371005050844p7f43db20u1de90ad3f00c01b7 at mail.gmail.com>
	<636757.37420.qm at web50707.mail.re2.yahoo.com>
	<6033.72.171.0.141.1273209392.squirrel at brunians.org>
	<373747.72937.qm at web50703.mail.re2.yahoo.com>
Message-ID: <10247.72.171.0.141.1273210791.squirrel at brunians.org>

First verse
Fourth line.
Line eight is very clumsy. Perhaps 'With which I pronounce each sarcastic
line' is an improvement.

Second verse
Fourth line.

It's actually quite interesting, and some of the stuff you are doing or
trying to do is going to be impressive when it is done. It's interesting
enough that I am not about to attempt to pass judgement on it in its
present state.

I will have to read it more carefully, and I may have more to say when I do.

.


> I wouldn't consider "This or that line doesn't scan" or "You could improve
> the rhythm of this line this way" or "On the whole, the meter doesn't
> work" or similar comments to be sarcastic.  I'd say an example of sarcasm
> would be "Why don't you learn the rudiments of scansion before you make
> your next attempt at poetry?"
>
> Of course if people feel the need to be sarcastic, they might not let my
> request stand in their way.
>
> Jerry
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: "brunians at brunians.org" <brunians at brunians.org>
> To: The Urth Mailing List <urth at lists.urth.net>
> Sent: Thu, May 6, 2010 11:16:32 PM
> Subject: Re: (urth) HBD GW!
>
> Would comments about the scansion be considered sarcastic or not?
>
> .
>
>
>> It's May 7 in Illinois, and this seems like a good time to post a link
>> to
>> a poem I wrote that includes Wolfean themes.  I add my best wishes for
>> improved health for Mr. Wolfe.
>>
>> http://home.windstream.net/jerryfriedman/pilgrim1.html
>>
>> Candid but preferably not sarcastic comments are welcome.
>>
>> Jerry Friedman
>>
>>
>>
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