Casting: not!

Peter Stephenson · 14 May 1998, 08:25 · from urth-v0011.mbox · original

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From: Peter Stephenson <pws at ifh.de>
Subject: (urth) Casting: not!
Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 10:25:10 +0200
Message-ID: <urth-v0011-0034 at digest.urth.net>
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I had some nightmares of my own last night:

Sev:  Travolta=20
 (not that I've got anything against him, it's just that
 he has `late twentieth century' written all over his face; I would
 constantly expect him to throw off his cloak and `get down'.)
Thecla:  Goldie Hawn
Dorcas:  Pia Zadora
 (Bonham-Carter was a nice idea, but I don't see Dorcas in corsets,
 which surely gets written into her contracts?)
Agia:  Bette Midler
Baldanders:  Sly Himself
Talos:  Dustin
 (maybe this works OK if you're a Hoffman fan, but it makes me shudder)
Autarch #-1:  Vincent Price
Jonas:  John Belushi
Hethor:  Billy Crystal
Jolenta:  Miriam Margolyes
 (if you don't know her, think `matronly', no insult intended, just
 wrong for the part etc. etc.)
Palaemon:  Rowan Atkinson
Drotte)            ( Mike Myers
Roche )  whichever ( Dana Carvey
 "The necropolis gate is locked!  Denied!"

The director is Edward D. Wood, who wrote this moving voice-over
prologue specially: "If you walked down the street, and saw him, you
would think, `This is the future'.  Or is it the past?  And the next
time you go out and see a man in a black coat, you think to yourself,
`Is he a torturer?', and it may be he is."

You can cast Monty Python and the Holy Claw yourself ("But I'm your
Autarch!" "Well, I didn't vote for you."), and imagine Mickey Mouse as
`The Torturer's Apprentice'.  `The Hitchhiker's Guide to Briah' is
going to be difficult.

pws

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